Why I Still Hate Larry

by Scott
(Richmond, VA, USA)

My toughest workout started with a bet with my college roommate, Larry… as have many other exciting adventures in my life now that I think about it.

Larry was training to pursue his dream of becoming a Navy SEAL and I wasn’t. His workouts were as unusual as they were brutal but I was a high school track and football star (letter four years in both!) and so I was in great shape too! In fact I was in such great shape that I decided I would join him on a work-out.

I will start with saying my ability to flat bench 285 for 12 reps and run a 6:13 mile didn’t matter. The first challenge was a five mile run. No problem, I can run these in my sleep!

Only Larry used a back pack with 25 pounds of sand in it and so did I. I did pretty well really except for the extreme chaffing on my shoulders and lower back and the burning in my traps.

We went to sets of 20 sit ups and then 20 push-ups without a rest. We did four sets of these and then did a 1/4 mile sprint (without the back packs this time.)

Once we finished the lap around the track we dropped again for three sets of 20 push-ups and 20 sit ups, again without a rest, and then sprint another 1/4 mile.

Then, you guessed it, two sets of 20/20’s and another sprint. We finished with a final set of 20/20’s and then jogged to the stadium steps to have a seat to recover.

Only we didn’t sit down to recover, we bunny hopped up the steps with our hands on top of our heads. Well, I tried to anyway as Larry continued to bark at me for dropping my arms. It was amazing -- I was doing all I could to breathe at this point and Larry was able to actually YELL at me!

So after we bunny hopped to the top of the steps we put our feet on one set of seats and our arms on the next row down for push-ups. Well, Larry did anyway. I couldn't see the seats between the tears of pain in my eyes and so I just sat down.

Larry didn’t like that and so he slapped me -- HARD might I add -- and took off hopping back down the stadium steps like a rabbit on crack. I stumbled after him, much as I stumbled down the steps on many a football game, and made it about 1/3 of the way down when Larry comes bounding back up like an antelope.

I swear he was actually WHISTLING as he went past me and told me to wait at the bottom.

He beat me to the bottom of the steps (gravity obviously likes him more) and by the time I got there he had filled 4 five-gallon buckets with sand from the long jump pit. I mean he actually ran to the field house, found two buckets for me, ran to the sand pit, filled them with sand and ran back with all FOUR buckets full of sand in the time it took me to walk down the final 1/3 of the steps.

He decided we were going to run up the hill on the back side of the stadium with the buckets and back down again.

At this point my traps were killing me, my quads could hardly contract, my glutes stopped speaking to me 30 minutes ago and my forearms shook from carrying the buckets to the bottom of the hill. Heck, even my hair follicles were crying in pain.

I was too stubborn to quit and so I walked up the hill. And Larry sprinted up the hill and jogged back down. He passed me three times as I went up and then carried my buckets back down the hill for me. I was so spent that I couldn’t stop shaking.

I ended up riding a cab the whole 1/4 mile to my dorm, took the elevator to my second floor room, stumbled down the hall to my room and was met by Larry doing pull ups in the door way.

I was too tired to blink and so I just lay down on my bed while still wearing my sweaty clothes and shoes. From what I was told, my girlfriend came by and couldn’t wake me, Larry had three drinking buddies over and they were able to get me to grunt.

After laying there for well over 12 hours I finally regained consciousness and tried to scream but my lungs were too tired to make a noise. I just lay there and dreamed I was a jelly fish just floating along in the ocean.

Interestingly enough, I felt the same when I woke up too.

Note from Dr. Dan

Scott,

Well, that was some incredibly amazingly difficult workout.

I guess that's how life is when you pick a Navy SEAL for a roommate.

Dr. Dan