People Don't Like You

You answered:
"My weight causes me problems with other people."
"People don't like me because I'm fat."

Here's what you need to know:

The sad truth

Who are your friends?

Now, we know that what's really important is what's on the inside. But if you're heavy you know this: you may get teased and laughed at, and that says that people don't like you.

Actually, a few overweight people get by OK. It's fine to be a 300 pound football player, as long as you can tackle the quarterback.

And sumo wrestlers -- they're some big guys -- and the sumo fans love them.

But the rest of us... we have a hard time in this world if we're overweight.

So what do you do? Well, for starters you do your best to be around people that accept you the way you are.

Life is difficult enough as it is. You don't need to make it harder for yourself by associating with people who tear you down for being overweight.

Are you doing your part?

But let's be frank here. Not to hurt anybody's feelings, but if it looks like people don't like you, a lot of it depends on what you are doing, too.

Let's say you are lying back with a bag of Oreo cookies. You've got your feet up. You're watching TV. You're getting fatter everyday. And you're whining about "those awful people who make fun of me for being fat."

Well, OK. They're awful people. But you live in this world. And you have to live with yourself when people don't like you.

And it's kind of like living in a dirty house. There are cigarette butts in the ashtrays. And you never let the dog out. The place is a mess.

Should they accept you as you are, cigarette butts and all? Yeah. I suppose so. But who wants to be around that?

The worst case

And let's take the worst case example of somebody that's overweight. They're 500, 600, 700 pounds.

They can't get out of bed they are so fat. Somebody has to bring them whole chickens and loaves of bread for lunch.

When they get sick it takes 12 paramedics carry them into the hospital.

Where's the personal responsibility?

The brighter side

OK. Now, how about this instead. You're overweight. But you're not lying in bed whining. You know that your weight is a problem for you. You're working on it.

You set aside some time everyday to learn more about weight loss nutrition. I mean real nutrition, not "grapefruit diet" nutrition. I mean protein, carbs, fats, building blocks -- real nutrition.

You've got a plan. You've got healthy food, made a week in advance, and stored in the freezer.

You pack your lunch -- a good lunch -- not foods that make you fat. You never leave the house without a high protein snack.

It's not easy -- but you do it

You don't like to exercise. But despite not liking to exercise, you are doing something.

You are taking a walk. You are keeping a notebook of your results.

You are gradually increasing the amount of exercise. You are gradually increasing the intensity. You've got a long road ahead. And not necessarily an easy road. But...

You can hold your head up. When people don't like you, you can tell those people -- and you can tell YOURSELF -- that you are really working on it. You are getting better. You are taking responsibility for yourself.

Personal pride

When you do that -- when you are making progress to a healthy goal -- you have every reason to be proud. And you have every reason to be respected.

And when you are working at it, doing your part, getting better everyday -- then you can be proud of yourself. And the comments of those people won't sting nearly as badly.

It's not that you aren't acceptable as you are.

But for lots of reasons people are happier and healthier and have better self-esteem when they take off weight.

Can it really be done?

There are lots of people -- including some professionals in the weight loss field -- that don't think it's possible for the vast majority of people to lose weight.

It's gotten so bad that rather than try to help people get to their goal weight, they tell them to just try lose a few pounds.

They say those few pounds will help with health problems, like diabetes and high blood pressure and heart trouble.

OK. So that might be true. A few pounds will help.

But a truer truth is that if you lose just a few pounds it's harder to keep off. It's more likely you'll gain it right back.

If you lose weight and hit your goal weight you are more likely to keep it off. Look at people that have been heavy, who've lost weight and kept it off. They almost always have reached their goal weight.

But it's not just professionals that have given up. Lots of overweight people have worked at losing their extra weight. And lots have failed.

Not sympathy -- but results

There are web sites where you can go for sympathy about how hard it is to lose weight. And how it's impossible. And how awful it is when people don't like you.

And how it's just your genes and your body type and allergies and all these reasons you can't lose weight.

Well, sure, those are appealing ideas. All the reasons you're overweight, and why it's not your fault.

But you must not have given up completely, because you're reading this. So you're still trying.

Know what to do -- and then do it

I know that you can lose weight. If you haven't been successful so far it's because you didn't know what to do. Or because you knew what to do but just didn't do it.

If you did it but it didn't work -- then it was just the wrong thing.

And if it was the right thing to do but you just didn't do it -- then you just didn't do it. That's the plain truth. So what now? Well, now you do it.

Yes, I know it's hard. It's hard physically and it's hard when people don't like you. But really, what is worth doing that doesn't take some effort?

Success will silence the critics

So how do you silence the critics, when people don't like you? They say that nothing succeeds like success. And that's true when you are losing weight too.

You silence the critics by finding what works and doing it. And ignoring them.

Gradually, over time, you let your body burn off that extra energy you've stored. You take in the good high quality energy sources you need. And by increasing your activity you make a stronger healthier body.

You CAN lose weight, you know. You just need to follow the plan.

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